Fingers crossed

After stopping to think, I realized I forgot what I wanted. I found my true love and forgot about me. I got so consumed and worried about taking care of you I lost sight of what you probably fell in love with. I lost sight of me.

I forgot why I wanted to go back to school. I forgot the pact I made to myslef. That I would succeed. That I would succeed because of me, because I did it. Because I made it happen.That I will become that lady who can support and care for herself. And love will  … love will be the that thing that makes my life…our life, complete.

You were right. I lost me because all I thought of was you. And its not your fault. I would never blame you. I just didn’t know how to balance everything.

I need you in my life but not in the way that it would end if you weren’t with me. Because I was breathing before I met you. I need you in my life because despite the sporatic downs you have made it better, brighter and more exciting. You made me feel happiness and love which next to accomplishment, is the best feeling in the world. Something I thought was lost in a world of false promises.

I thought you were special before but now youre just beyond amazing. No one else would care enough to get mad over me losing sight of what I wanted and of my goals. And the fact that you care about the one other person i love most. I have a huge smile everytime I realize it.

So thank you. For actually seeing me. For noticing.

You are my rock too.

I promise:
To reach for my goals.
To remember I am capable of reaching them.
That although dj is my nickname I am smart and can make good decisions.
That I am worth a second look.
Deserving of love.
And I deserve to have expectations placed on me by the ones I love because if you guys didnt, then why even bother.

I love you Rob.

You & me, against the world.


Its too horrible of a world to not love that one special person.


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