yay!…hmm…Blahh!

Everything to do with sex show. Next weekend wooooooooot!!! Finally get to go to one of these things. So like a month ago or whenever I first heard this song I pretty much went HEY! that was basically me minus the drinking and drugs. If you listen to the lyrics you will pretty much guess which part was basically me.  Oh! the song is Tove lo- Habits (Stay High).  Maybe I was high… just on something I personally think is better than drugs. Everyone does something different to deal with negative life changes. Mine was…fun and self explorative and honestly very liberating.

Before I go R rated I’m going to reflect, because I want to stop thinking about all the negatives that I went through. First off, everyone is full of shit. No lie, I know this for a fact because I was full of shit too. People are full of shit until it comes to the person they do not want to be full of shit towards. Also might I add men/boys do not take rejection, or ‘no’, or ‘i need to be alone and selfish’ very well at all. And there is no winning. You can never please everyone, so I realized, when you are single, please yourself first and be selfish. The ones that don’t get hurt in the dating game, are the ones who think about themselves first and foremost. These people are selfish. We are selfish until we find that person we want to give ourselves to. And you know what? there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with that because that is the clear distinction between someone you care about, and someone you want to FUCK. *but of course, treat them with respect, there is no need for name calling! or racism!(touch upon that on a later post)*

I think sometimes there comes a time where we just need to let it go. There are things that we are just not cut out to do.

I have come to the terms with the fact that I am not, I am not, I am not and never will be cut out to do any surveying. I am totally ok with it. but for fucks sake just let me pass this last mother fucking course. 55%+ literally I dont give a single fuck anymore. I know how to do it i just cant level the fucking stand. I always thought it was my first surveying teacher that led me to hate this subject but under further examination I have come to the conclusion that 1. I just dislike surveying regardless of the how much I like and respect the proffs 2. The one I thought made me hate this subjuct…well I still dislike him.

After that disaster of a test though. I  just want to curl up in a ball. roll into the corner and cry a little bit.

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